Really?

The last time I blogged was the 22nd? I am worst blogger ever. That's why I don't usually have a blog. I digress.

Partly it's because I don't like to post long things when things aren't going well. Much in that I don't like to deal with people when things aren't going well. A natural introvert. unless I have good news or something interesting to share, I tend to withdraw. Groups exhaust me. Having to be "on" exhausts me. I tend toward depression. When I run on a regular basis I can keep that tendency at bay.

Last week I had a good stretch. I ran 10 miles on Thanksgiving morning. Not pretty. But done. I did a (humbling!) 6-mile trail run at Silver Falls last Saturday (we will get to that in a moment). Then I took Sunday off. Then Monday I had the best run I had in ages. It was only 4 miles, but mentally I was there. I didn't feel like I needed to stop every 200 feet, like I had been in the weeks preceding that (okay, so I had an emergency appendectomy that took more out of me -- ha -- than I realized. but really, no excuses!).

But then when I finished that run, my leg hurt. Truth be told, my leg hurt before I did that run, too. It hurt in a different area than it normally hurts, when it hurts.

That scared the shit out of me.

The last thing I need is a stress fracture. With trying to raise all this money and 1) not being able to do that and 2) not being able to run on the basis that I am raising money from people who EXPECT to see me run? The hell?

That, there, is the worst case scenario.

So I went to the pool to do water running Tuesday and Wednesday. 30 minutes Tuesday. 50 minutes Wednesday. Thursday I took off totally. Well, I did some core work in the basement. Lifted a little upper body weights.  Friday I took off, but I usually take off Fridays.

Saturdays I do my long run. I'm playing it safe, so today I only ran 5 miles.

Well, 5.5.

Leg feels better. I have a massage scheduled later, which will be good. Remember the days when massage was a luxury, and not a necessity?

I'm blaming the lower leg pain on running in trail shoes that I probably should not have been running in, and the terrain being not what I normally run, and the streak of running I was doing while still recovering.

Let this be my whine of the day: I'm tired of recovering. I miss not being at the top of my game. And quite honestly, I don't want to even be at the top of my game for this marathon. I just want to be trained reasonably well and get to the start and the finish lines with everything intact and no bodily fluids where they shouldn't be. I'm tired of feeling like a shitty runner.

Okay. I don't really have much to complain about. I'm whining.

Let's go back to that trail run last Saturday. It was a beautiful day. Lots of fun people, many of whom I hadn't seen in ages. I've mentioned on my running club's message board that I am running Boston to raise money for melanoma prevention. Before the run started, my friend Mark wrote me a check, and it was really unexpected and appreciated. I tucked it in my jacket and thanked him.

After the run, we got to talking and he told me this story: a friend of his went to the doctor for something that he thought was a wart on his face. Doctor took one look at it and said, "I want you back here tomorrow." His friend had big patches on his face and neck removed--and still died of melanoma. He wasn't yet 30.

You never know what stories people have to tell...and when and how you'll hear them.

I'll really try and be a better blogger, by the way.